Monday, 15 June 2015

20 Films That Are So Shit They're Great!

Sometimes you watch a film that you’ll think about for years, some of the time it’ll be because it was a thought provoking masterpiece that will haunt you for the foreseeable future. And the rest of the time? It’s because it was such a shambles that it just makes you giggle every time a scene pops into your head.
These films nearly always fall into two categories, there are the films that are designed to be so bad that you can only watch in awe, and then there are the train wrecks that took themselves way too seriously and were met with constant ridicule.  

1. Planet Terror (2007)
Planet Terror falls into our first category – a film so bad it had to be on purpose. The plot leads us on an interesting adventure, an age-old tale, of survivors attempting to navigate a zombie apocalypse. It’s punctuated with stereotypical conflicts between survivors and the military forces, and adds an extra dash of ridiculousness. You’ll get the pleasure of watching a woman use a table leg as a prosthetic leg, which is later replaced with a machine gun. Keep an eye out for Quentin Tarantino being stabbed with her table leg (leg)!

2. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)
Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus is one of many awful monster films, but unlike some horrors in the past, it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Instead we get to enjoy an endless sea of awful CGI and even worse acting. The overcomplicating of the plot and the beauty of the giant octopus and shark-fighting scene makes for a hell of a film.

3. Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012)
Another shark film that definitely deserves to be on the list, it balances the parody and awful CGI so well it’s hilarious from start to finish. The combined hilarity of the stupidity of the main characters and the ludicrous plot put it up there with some of the best bad films of all time. Look out for Joey Fatone from ‘N Sync as well!

4. Shark in Venice (2008)
Last shark film I swear! I just had to put this masterpiece on the list; particularly as the sharks in the film have such a small part the title alone is hilariously stupid. The sharks only serve as convenient moments of action throughout the film, and instead it focuses on a completely unbelievable kidnapping plot. However, the film is pure comedy gold due the presence of Stephen Baldwin and because of one scene where we see his leg get bitten off and he wakes up with it miraculously untouched!

5. The Legend of Hercules (2014)
One of the most recent Hercules adaptions is probably just what you expect it to be – absolutely awful, but laughably so. Instead of embracing the cheesiness the film ends up taking itself far too seriously and in the end we are left with a film that is painful, but a good source of amusement.

6. Spiderman 3 (2007)
The original Spiderman trilogy was never fantastically made, but it supplied easy entertainment and cheap laughs. But, all of this was thrown out the window when they got to Spiderman 3. By ruining one Spiderman’s best villains, Venom, and piling on the cheese we were left with nothing more than endless cringey moments. But, if you can get through these scenes then you can enjoy it as a source of comic relief.

7. Drive Angry (2011)
One of many treasures that Nicolas Cage has delivered over the years and one of the many reasons I am glad he’ll say yes to any film nowadays! The film follows the absurd idea of Cage’s character coming back from the undead to hunt down the man who has kidnapped his granddaughter. Fast cars, unbelievable fight scenes and Nicolas Cage – what’s not to love to hate?

8. National Treasure (2004)
Another Nicolas Cage film to be cherished is National Treasure, and it’s sequel. These films combine family friendly adventures with incredibly over exaggerated connections to American History, and the result is endless hilarity at the expense of Nicolas Cage’s career.

9. Escape From L.A. (1996)
Kurt Russell is the epitome of the cheesy anti-hero in this film, and from start to finish the ridiculous plots never ceases to amuse. In an America where everything from swearing to pre-marital sex has been made illegal the island of Los Angeles has been made into a giant prison for those who choose imprisonment over death by electrocution. The plot follows Snake Plissken as he is sent to the island to retrieve the Presidents daughter and the result is cheese central.

10. Piranha 3D (2010)
The remake of the 1978 horror classic is comedy horror at its best, it’s so badly made and the acting is so awful that you will be in constant disbelief that a film this bad ever made it past the planning stages. The opening scene of Richard Dreyfuss being eaten alive is not to be missed, and the sequel is even better with the Hoff’s cameo. The entirety of both films is comedy gold and the gore is a perfect mix between ludicrous and realistic.

11. Cursed (2005)
This werewolf horror comedy perfectly encapsulates the ‘bad but great’ genre. Jesse Eisenberg stars in one of his earlier roles as one half of the brother and sister protagonist team, and he doesn’t disappoint in this cheese fest. You’ll laugh your head off at the ludicrous werewolf costumes and even more ridiculous gore.

12. Jeepers Creepers (2001)
The Jeepers Creepers films have been a guilty pleasure of mine for years and the original is the best of the lot. The Creeper, who rises every 23rd spring for 23 days, haunts the steps of the protagonists of the film. The comedic gore is effective throughout, and you won’t be able to stop laughing all the way through at the attempts at serious horror.

13. Dracula 2000 (2000)
Gerard Butler’s first main role is absolutely priceless, it abuses the legend of Dracula ceaselessly throughout and the result is absolutely hilarious. Just sit back and enjoy its pathetic attempts at tension building and Butler’s laughable attempt at portraying the subtle evil of Dracula.

14. Paranormal Activity (2 onwards)
The first Paranormal Activity was suitably scary, with expert tension building, but every sequel since has been a massive disappointment. But, they do have comedic value. The prequel (3), in particular, is hilarious with endless supernatural tit bits popping up throughout. Instead of following the style of the first film with its slow tension building every sequel has tried to shove as many paranormal ‘happenings’ into 90 minutes as possible. But, at least these disasters result in a source of comedic nonsense for us to enjoy.

15. Crank (2006)
I could easily fill up this list with Jason Statham films if I wanted to, his films are always priceless and Crank is amongst the best. The story revolves around an assassin who has to maintain a constant adrenalin rush in order to stay alive, and the events get more and more outlandish as the film goes on. If you bear with it and embrace all the weirdness you’ll be laughing from beginning to end.

16. The Happening (2008)
The Happening is widely regarded as on of M. Night Shyamalan’s worst films, and you wouldn’t be wrong in thinking so. But, what is often forgotten is how hilarious the film actually is. If you enjoy the tragically bad acting and the stupid conclusion you can sit back and enjoy the incredulous looks on your friends faces when the final twist is revealed.

17. Wrong Turn (2003)
The Wrong Turn films are another series of horrors that are hilariously terrible, and will provide an endless source of entertainment for you. It’s a classically stupid horror so sit back and enjoy this mess of a film in all its cannibalistic glory.

18. Feast (2005)
Feast revolves around the typical character stereotypes of horror films, with characters being named after what their first impression indicates their role will be, including ‘Hero’, ‘Honey Pie’ and ‘Bozo’. It completely reverts and ends up twisting all of our expectations and the result is a train wreck of a film that remains hilarious from the first death to the last. Think Cabin in the Woods but with a much smaller budget.

19. Batman & Robin (1997)
This film successfully killed Chris O’Donnell’s career in one fell swoop and came close to ruining George Clooney’s reputation, but it still remains one of my favourite films. The terrible film is a treasure trove of comedy, and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s performance as Mr Freeze is absolutely priceless. If you haven’t seen this never-ending disaster of a film then you should watch it as soon as possible, even if it is just for Batman’s nipples.

20. Smokin’ Aces (2006)

Smokin’ Aces is a trigger-happy action fest that embraces its stupidity at every turn. It details the adventures of multiple assassins as they all seek the same man, and it never slows down as it follows the gun happy maniacs on their quest for the bounty.

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